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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 08:38
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Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
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The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
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Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
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Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
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There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
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I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
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Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
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It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
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If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Throughout American history, the government has said we\'re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It\'s a hoax.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
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He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that\'s ok because you\'ll be a mile away from him and you\'ll have his shoes.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
The trouble with the Internet is that it\'s replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
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Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
If there痴 one thing I know it痴 God does love a good joke.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
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I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
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The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
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Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:26
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